Build the list in six steps
- 01Start with your budget and hall capacity, then decide the most guests each function can hold.
- 02Agree how to split seats: between the bride's side, the groom's side and the couple's own friends.
- 03Ask each side to list households, not individuals, with a realistic number of people per household.
- 04Sort each list into tiers: must-invite, should-invite and if-space.
- 05Mark which functions each household is invited to.
- 06Invite in rounds, if you have to. As guests decline, invite from the next tier.
Different functions, different lists
The split varies a lot by family. What matters is writing it down so that two relatives don't promise different things.
| Function | Usually who's invited |
|---|---|
| Roka or engagement | Close family |
| Mehndi, maiyan or haldi | Close family and friends |
| Sangeet | Family and friends, sometimes larger |
| Religious ceremony | Family, friends and community |
| Reception or walima | Usually everyone, and the largest list |
The hard questions
- Parents' friends
- Often the biggest source of growth. Agree a number with parents early, and let them decide who fills it.
- Plus-ones
- Choose a simple rule, like spouses and long-term partners only, and apply it to everyone.
- Children
- Decide function by function. If it's adults only, say so politely and early, and expect some families to decline.
- Coworkers
- A common place to trim. Invite only those you see outside work, or leave the reception as the one function they attend.
- Overseas relatives
- Many won't be able to come, but they'll want to be invited. Allow for them, and send details early for visas and flights.
What to track for each household
- Family name, and the main contact's phone number or WhatsApp.
- Which side invited them, and who should call the elders.
- How many people are invited, and which functions.
- Whether they've replied, and how many are coming to each function.
- Dietary needs and whether they need a hotel or transport.
From a guest list to a final headcount
Not everyone invited will come, and the share differs for every family, so don't rely on a rule of thumb. Plan for the seats you could fill, then use real RSVPs. Many relatives won't reply without a reminder, so plan a round of calls about two to three weeks before the date.
Our guide on collecting RSVPs covers how to get replies from elders and big families.
Make replies easier
Personal links help here. On Ivory Gate, each family can get its own link that opens with their name, and your dashboard shows replies and headcounts for each function, ready to give the caterer. You can send one Ivory Gate invitation website with every function, map and RSVP on it, from CA$39, one-time.
Frequently asked questions
How many guests attend an Indian wedding?
It varies widely, from small family weddings to several hundred guests. Your budget and hall capacity should set the limit, not an average.
Who decides the guest list?
Usually the couple and both sets of parents together. Agreeing a number for each side early prevents most arguments.
How do you politely limit plus-ones or children?
Name exactly who is invited, and apply the same rule to everyone. A personal link or invitation addressed to the family makes this clear.
Ivory Gate
Make your invitation in 10 minutes
Every function on one link, RSVPs per event, maps and music. One-time from CA$39.
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